LYRICS:
hello children, welcome to another marvelous episode of magic roundabout (shut up)
with me - Danny Bush Blair (Oi, you're gay)
what did you say Peter? I'm gay? why of course i'm gay
gay means happy, arn't you gay Peter? You little squirt
[Verse 1]
once upon a time there was a boy named Jill
who fell in love with a girl named Jack
people didn't like to see them kiss
'cos Jack was white and Jill was black
and everybody knows that black is bad
black is dark and that's not good
black people don't even have real houses
they live in their annoracks, apparently the hood
whenever there was no people round
they would sneak and creep around
sleep around eachother's house
where their beds make this creakin' sound
(err) if only you could see them now
he's standin' up and she's kneelin' down
anyway back to the readin' now
everybody thought Jill was the thief in town
for no apparent reason the people in town
would see him and just beat him down
he runs home to his big black family
bleedin', leakin', screamin', "Ouch!"
then one day he went in to his father's cupboard
and discovered this piece of black metal that was covered
he put it in his pocket and took it onto the streets
now the people that beat him down wanna speak
thats when he found out that the metal does magic
so everytime he had it all he had to do is squeeze
now, the people that used to beat him down
would scream then all of a sudden they'd fall asleep
[Verse 2]
once upon a time there was a girl named Gemima
face soo ugly she looked like a spider
ain't a dog alive that would wanna sit beside her
boys wouldn't on her, not even for a fiver
she had a flat chest and very stink breath
and one of her eyelids was slant to the left
even the nerds in the class didn't like her
as soon as they see her they start to play chess
then one day when lookin' in the mirror
she discovered these 2 round lumps upon her chest
the more cupcakes she ate they got bigger
so big that one day they ripped off her vest
they grew, and all of the girls said, "Ooo!"
and all of the nerds said, "Cool!
the boys that used to take for a fool
wanted to link up with her after school
she followed this boy David to his house
where he put one of them lumps in his mouth
Gemima was makin' all types of sounds
but none of the noises she made said, "Ouch!"
Dave reached down and Dave said, "Oi!"
'cos he felt somethin' hard like a toy
Gemima laughed and said, "My real name is Jamie,
and I'm not a girl just a very fat boy!"
(Er)
[Verse 3]
once upon a time there was a man named James
who got married to a woman named Shirley
who woke up early, to iron his shirt
so as soon as he went to work she would open her nursary
she was soo lovin' but so was her husband
problem is he wasn't lovin' her
'cos after given her 5 kids at 30
he was in the hotel doin' the dirty
with his secratary named Mandy
who had a bad boyfriend called Joe
who had a gay boyfriend called Andy
Andy's a hoe, Andy had lurgies
lurgies are fast now they livin' in Shirley
and to her health that's detrimental
this is a lesson, but lurgies can be stopped
by that thing on the top of a pencil
and now we go