Blair : Forgive me, Father, for I've sinned. It's been. a while since my last confession.
Priest : What's troubles you my child ?
Blair : After being broken up with my boyfriend, for exactly 20 minutes, I. succumbed to inebriation, performed at a speakeasy and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass. The only good news is that he's a total pig who will act like it never happened. Thank God !
Priest : Hum..
Blair : Sorry. Truthfully, I'm not even catholic.
Priest : You don't say.
Blair : But losing my virginity to Chuck Bass ?! None of my friends will ever understand. I'm ready for my punishment. Whatever you and
God think is fair - flogging, fasting, putting that thing with the teeth around my thigh, like Silas.
Priest : How about some food for thought instead ? Don't drink. Keep your clothes on. Try avoiding those who might cause you to stray.
Blair : Oh, I plan to. Thank you, Father. I was very good advice.
Blair : You don't grant birthday wishes, do you ?
Priest : I'm a priest, not a genie.
Blair : Well, the next time you talk to Him, would you ask Him to send my boyfriend back to me ?
Chuck : This is the last place I'd expect to find you !
Blair : Go away, Chuck. I've been given orders practically from God himself to avoid you.
Chuck : Would you consider avoiding me over breakfast ?
Blair : Sorry, but as is tradition on the day before my birthday, I'm heading to the jeweler's to put some pieces on hold for Eleanor and..
Chuck : ..Nate ?! Oh, I don't think he'll be singing "happy birthday" this year.
Blair : No one knows that Nate and I broke up, and it's gonna stay that way so I can fix this, and I don't think your best friend would still be your best friend if he knew..
Chuck : If he knew how much I enjoyed the removal of a certain chastity belt in the back of this very limo ?
Blair : From this moment forward, the events of last night will never be mentioned again. Is that clear ?
Chuck : Not as clear as the memory of you purring in my ear, which I have been replaying over and over.
Blair : Well, erase the tape ! Because as far as I'm concerned, it never happened.
Chuck : I'll see you at your party tonight.
Blair : You're officially uninvited !
Chuck : Never stop me before !
Gossip Girl's Off-Voice : Speak of the devil, and he doth appear, wearing his trademark scarf. Careful, B. Hell hath no fury like a Chuck Bass scorned.
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